Bad landlords are the worst! To this end, The Onion just offered up eight not-so-helpful (and extremely sarcastic) tips for dealing with a difficult landlord:
- To ensure repairs are dealt with in a timely manner, always put in maintenance requests one to two months before something breaks.
- It’s vital to know your rights as a tenant, so find out what all two or three of them are.
- If you can afford the services of a lawyer, use that money to move to a better apartment.
- Instead of getting into a heated shouting match with your landlord, calmly let them know how you feel by paying your rent with a giant bag of pennies.
- When you’re getting frustrated with your landlord, remember that they’re just a human being trying to exploit you for capital like everyone else.
- Try to see things from their perspective: Maybe you did bring the rats into the apartment with you!
- Always read your entire lease so you know how many roommates you’re allowed to have and how many you have to keep secret.
- Meet with your fellow tenants to share complaints against your landlord, build a sense of solidarity around your shared grievances while insisting action needs to be taken, proceed to arm yourselves with an array of lethal weapons, drape a banner reading “Property Is Theft” across the front of your apartment building to let the owner know it’s been transformed into an anarchist squat, and barricade yourself for a final showdown with law enforcement officials.