10 Frequently Asked Wedding Etiquette Questions

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You should keep these things in mind when planning or attending a wedding.

The New York Times recently asked etiquette coach Maggie Oldham to answer the 10 most-frequently asked questions when it comes to wedding etiquette. Here they are:

  • Who do we have to invite with a plus one? If they’re married, engaged, or living together, they get a plus one--no matter how you feel about that person. 
  • Can we fire a member of our bridal/groom party? Not unless you want to end your relationship.
  • How soon can I reach out to people who haven’t RSVPed? Soon. As in, the day after the due date.
  • Can we keep our wedding adults-only without offending anyone? Yes, but tread lightly. 
  • Is it inappropriate to do a “honey fund?” No, as long as you’re not asking directly for cash.
  • Do we have to pay for bridesmaids’ and grooms’ flights and rooms? No. You can help offset costs by organizing room blocks, group discounts and negotiating car service rates. 
  • Who do we have to invite to a rehearsal dinner? Immediate family, anyone who is in the wedding and out of town guests.
  • Can we have a no-phone, no-social media wedding? Those wanting a “no-phone policy” can say so on the invite--or with a sign seen by guests upon arrival.
  • Most asked question by besties: Do I really need to give multiple gifts? Yes. Go big on one; small on the others. 
  • Can we have a cash bar? Absolutely not. If you’re trying to save money, cash bars are still considered tacky. 

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